What do we mean by low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem refers to a consistently negative self-perception. Individuals with low self-esteem often focus on their perceived flaws or shortcomings, overlooking their strengths and accomplishments. This critical self-view leads to a persistent sense of inadequacy or feeling “not good enough.” These negative beliefs significantly affect daily life, influencing thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. At Psychotherapy Japan, we work with clients to help identify and challenge these limiting beliefs, fostering a healthier, more balanced sense of self-worth through supportive, evidence-based therapeutic approaches.
What kind of experiences can result in low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood and is shaped by a range of life experiences. These experiences can be overtly negative, such as having a highly critical parent, experiencing bullying, or abuse. Alternatively, they may be marked by a lack of positive reinforcement, such as not receiving praise for accomplishments, or feeling neglected and uncared for. Over time, these accumulated experiences can shape a core belief, such as “I am not good enough.” It’s important to note that low self-esteem may not solely stem from childhood but can also develop later in life, causing shifts in self-perception toward a more negative outlook.
While life experiences are key contributors to self-esteem, genetic and mental health factors can also play a significant role. Research suggests that self-esteem may be partially heritable (Neiss, Sedikides & Stevenson, 2006), meaning a predisposition toward low self-esteem could be inherited from parents or grandparents. Additionally, mental health conditions such as depression can heavily influence self-esteem by creating a negative self-view during depressive episodes. As mental health has genetic underpinnings, our self-esteem is often a complex mix of both inherited traits and life experiences.
At Psychotherapy Japan, we understand the multifaceted nature of low self-esteem and work with clients to address both the psychological and environmental factors at play. With the right therapeutic support, it is possible to rebuild self-esteem and cultivate a healthier sense of self-worth.
How Do I Know If I Have Low Self-Esteem?
Now that we have a clearer understanding of what low self-esteem is and how it develops, how can we identify it within ourselves?
One key indicator lies in our daily thoughts. Do you find that you speak to yourself in a critical or harsh manner? When you make a mistake, what is your immediate reaction? Your internal dialogue often reflects your core beliefs about yourself. The narrative you maintain around your experiences can perpetuate those negative beliefs, reinforcing low self-esteem.
Another important sign of low self-esteem can be seen in our behavior. Do you tend to avoid certain tasks or situations? This avoidance often stems from negative self-perceptions and a critical inner voice. For many, avoiding potential mistakes feels easier than confronting the uncomfortable emotions that might arise, such as guilt, fear, sadness, or frustration.
Let’s take a look at an example:
Case Study: Jane’s Story
Jane began to recognize her low self-esteem during her teenage years, a time when she experienced bullying at school. These negative social experiences contributed to the development of critical beliefs about herself. Over time, Jane also began to struggle with social anxiety. She became aware of her low self-esteem by observing how her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors impacted her daily life.
For instance, one day at work, a colleague stopped by her desk to engage in casual conversation about her weekend. Immediately, Jane noticed signs of anxiety—her heart raced, and she felt a sense of panic. She worried that continuing the conversation might lead to her saying something embarrassing, resulting in ridicule. Seeking relief from this discomfort, Jane excused herself from the interaction as soon as possible.
Afterward, she spent several minutes ruminating over the conversation, convinced that her colleague must have noticed her anxiety and concluded that she was rude for abruptly ending the chat. Jane feared that her colleague might no longer want to speak to her.
In this scenario, Jane’s self-critical mindset is evident. She is highly concerned about making mistakes in social interactions and is quick to reach negative conclusions about herself, such as “people think I’m rude” or “people don’t want to talk to me.” At the core of these thoughts lies the belief, “I am unlikeable.” This inner narrative continues to affect Jane’s future social interactions, leading her to avoid them and perpetuate her anxiety.
This example illustrates how our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are powerful indicators of low self-esteem. Recognizing these patterns is a crucial first step toward addressing and improving self-esteem. At Psychotherapy Japan, we offer tailored support to help individuals uncover and reshape these underlying beliefs, fostering a healthier and more positive sense of self-worth.
How Can I Develop a Healthier Self-Esteem?
Now that we’ve explored what low self-esteem is and how it can be identified through our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, let’s look at how we can work toward building a healthier self-esteem.
What Does Healthy Self-Esteem Mean?
Healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean having an overly positive or unrealistic perception of yourself. Rather, it involves maintaining a balanced view—one where you can acknowledge your weaknesses or areas for improvement, but also recognize and appreciate your strengths and positive qualities. It’s about accepting yourself as a whole, without ignoring either the good or the challenging parts of who you are.
How Can Therapy Help Improve Self-Esteem?
One effective way to address low self-esteem is through therapy. A skilled therapist can help you identify and challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that are influencing your behaviors and self-perception. Therapy allows you to develop a more balanced view of yourself, fostering self-acceptance and reducing the focus on negativity.
A particularly effective therapeutic approach for improving self-esteem is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT helps you recognize and change the unhelpful patterns of thinking and behavior that contribute to low self-esteem. By reframing these negative thought patterns, you can develop a healthier, more constructive self-image.
Mindfulness as a Tool for Self-Esteem
In addition to therapy, practicing mindfulness can be an invaluable tool for building self-awareness. Without awareness of your negative beliefs, it’s difficult to make lasting changes. Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, allowing you to recognize when you are being overly self-critical. This can serve as a foundation for changing those patterns.
There are many resources available to help you get started with mindfulness, including guided meditation apps and online tools. Journaling is another excellent way to reflect on your thoughts and behaviors, helping you become more aware of your internal dialogue and emotional responses.
Example: Jane’s Journey to Healthier Self-Esteem
Let’s revisit our example of Jane:
Once Jane realized how her negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors were impacting her life, she decided to seek therapy. Through working with a therapist, Jane was able to develop new strategies for navigating social situations with a more balanced perspective.
During one of her interactions at work, a co-worker stopped by her desk to engage in casual conversation. Initially, Jane felt the familiar signs of anxiety but used mindfulness techniques she had learned in therapy to ground herself. By focusing on her breath and body sensations, she recognized that she was caught in negative thinking. After taking a few deep breaths, Jane was able to calm her body and approach the situation with a clearer mindset.
Through the use of cognitive restructuring, another key tool she learned in therapy, Jane began to challenge her negative thoughts. She realized that since her co-worker initiated the conversation, it was unlikely that they didn’t want to talk to her—a thought that opposed her earlier belief that “no one wants to interact with me.” She also reviewed her behavior during the conversation and found no reason for embarrassment, concluding that her anxiety stemmed from hypothetical outcomes rather than reality.
Jane also recognized that by avoiding social interactions, she was reinforcing her belief that these situations were inherently negative. To counter this, she made a conscious decision to initiate a conversation with her co-worker during lunch, challenging both her anxiety and her underlying beliefs about herself.
Over time, by continuing to practice these therapeutic techniques—such as cognitive restructuring and mindfulness—and actively working to change her thoughts and behaviors, Jane was able to make significant strides in improving her self-esteem and reducing her social anxiety.
Take Action for Better Self-Esteem
At Psychotherapy Japan, we understand that low self-esteem can deeply affect your quality of life. Through personalized therapy, we can help you develop the tools to shift your mindset and create a more balanced, healthier sense of self-worth. By combining therapeutic approaches like CBT with mindfulness practices, you can begin to reshape your core beliefs and foster positive, lasting change.
